Apologies for the delay in putting up a new post- it's been so crazy busy recently I don't actually know where to start!
Dan and I finally have our balloon flight booked for the 4th June- something that fills me with absolute dread. I hate heights but I've been told you don't get a sense of dizzying heights on the way up as it's so gentle. I was considering sending Dan up on his own but thought it would be more romantic together. Anyone who has bought or tried to book a balloon flight will feel my pain as this is now the fourth attempt at trying to fly. I know that a balloon flight is very weather dependant but this was a gift from Christmas 2009. It's a nightmare- fingers crossed it's all worth it.
My weekend this weekend consisted of travelling down to Exmouth with my sister to visit my Dad whose just opened a pub down there. It's taking a lot of refurbishing and a lot of stress which is why we went down so we could help out. But we had such a fab time and the weather was gorgeous.
It's my birthday two weeks tomorrow which is a scary thought. I used to get so excited on my birthday but now it feels just a little bit sad. It's crazy to think that I'm going to be nearer to 30 than I am to 20 but never mind! I guess none of us can delay the inevitable. It will be a fun packed weekend though and probably a cake filled one too.
Weight watchers is going well at the moment. My leader set me my own personal mini goal to lose 5lb by the end of the month. I've lost 2lb half way through the month so I think I'm doing ok. All that walking at the weekend on the beach must surely have done some good!
Exam results day tomorrow!! The results have come round really quickly but fingers crossed I've passed them both. I'm concentrating all my efforts on Law at the moment which is mind boggling but I seem to have picked it up surprisingly quickly which is great news. I'll keep you posted on the results.
My Grandpa turns 80 tomorrow and we have something special planned but I'm keeping it under wraps just in case he happens to take a sneaky peak at this before tomorrow. Unlikely but I'm taking no chances! We're also having a family picnic at the weekend which we do once a year. We had it in the park the last two years but I remember one year, it chucking down with rain so we had a picnic on Grandma's floor instead.
That's all for now! xx
Monday, 16 May 2011
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Time to reflect...
I read today, on a national newspaper website, that a Canadian blogger made famous by being a photographer, a writer and a musician posted a blog from beyond the grave. After a long and cruel battle with cancer, he passed away on May 3rd and the blog was posted by his friends and family- he had written the blog in the event of his death.
I had to re-post the last portion of his blog for reasons that kind of strike something in me. He looks at the world in a philosophical way, quite rightly, and reflects on his life with his wife and children. It struck me when he says: "It turns out that no-one can imagine what's really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can't expect our plans to work out. Some of them might, while most probably won't. Inventions and ideas will appear, and events will occur, that we could never foresee. That's neither bad nor good, but it is real."
I'll leave it with you. More to come soon xx
What to know, now that I'm dead
There can't be answers today. While I was still alive writing this, I was sad to know I'll miss these things - not because I won't be able to witness them, but because Air, Marina, and Lauren won't have me there to support their efforts.
It turns out that no one can imagine what's really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can't expect our plans to work out. Some of them might, while most probably won't. Inventions and ideas will appear, and events will occur, that we could never foresee. That's neither bad nor good, but it is real.
I think and hope that's what my daughters can take from my disease and death. And that my wonderful, amazing wife Airdrie can see too. Not that they could die any day, but that they should pursue what they enjoy, and what stimulates their minds, as much as possible - so they can be ready for opportunities, as well as not disappointed when things go sideways, as they inevitably do.
I've also been lucky. I've never had to wonder where my next meal will come from. I've never feared that a foreign army will come in the night with machetes or machine guns to kill or injure my family. I've never had to run for my life (something I could never do now anyway). Sadly, these are things some people have to do every day right now.
A wondrous place
The world, indeed the whole universe, is a beautiful, astonishing, wondrous place. There is always more to find out. I don't look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.
What is true is that I loved them. Lauren and Marina, as you mature and become yourselves over the years, know that I loved you and did my best to be a good father.
Airdrie, you were my best friend and my closest connection. I don't know what we'd have been like without each other, but I think the world would be a poorer place. I loved you deeply, I loved you, I loved you, I loved you.
I had to re-post the last portion of his blog for reasons that kind of strike something in me. He looks at the world in a philosophical way, quite rightly, and reflects on his life with his wife and children. It struck me when he says: "It turns out that no-one can imagine what's really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can't expect our plans to work out. Some of them might, while most probably won't. Inventions and ideas will appear, and events will occur, that we could never foresee. That's neither bad nor good, but it is real."
I'll leave it with you. More to come soon xx
| What was at the end I haven't gone to a better place, or a worse one. I haven't gone anyplace, because Derek doesn't exist anymore. As soon as my body stopped functioning, and the neurons in my brain ceased firing, I made a remarkable transformation: from a living organism to a corpse, like a flower or a mouse that didn't make it through a particularly frosty night. The evidence is clear that once I died, it was over. |
There can't be answers today. While I was still alive writing this, I was sad to know I'll miss these things - not because I won't be able to witness them, but because Air, Marina, and Lauren won't have me there to support their efforts.
It turns out that no one can imagine what's really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can't expect our plans to work out. Some of them might, while most probably won't. Inventions and ideas will appear, and events will occur, that we could never foresee. That's neither bad nor good, but it is real.
I think and hope that's what my daughters can take from my disease and death. And that my wonderful, amazing wife Airdrie can see too. Not that they could die any day, but that they should pursue what they enjoy, and what stimulates their minds, as much as possible - so they can be ready for opportunities, as well as not disappointed when things go sideways, as they inevitably do.
I've also been lucky. I've never had to wonder where my next meal will come from. I've never feared that a foreign army will come in the night with machetes or machine guns to kill or injure my family. I've never had to run for my life (something I could never do now anyway). Sadly, these are things some people have to do every day right now.
A wondrous place
The world, indeed the whole universe, is a beautiful, astonishing, wondrous place. There is always more to find out. I don't look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.
What is true is that I loved them. Lauren and Marina, as you mature and become yourselves over the years, know that I loved you and did my best to be a good father.
Airdrie, you were my best friend and my closest connection. I don't know what we'd have been like without each other, but I think the world would be a poorer place. I loved you deeply, I loved you, I loved you, I loved you.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Bank Holiday Crazy!
After the second bank holiday weekend in a row, I have to admit I'm flagging. I know the bank holiday weekends are to have a break from work, get away and relax but to me they're more of an excuse to plan loads of fun things to do. So I planned loads of fun things to do...now I'm knackered and broke.
Friday was obviously the big wedding and it was amazing. I was completely surprised by how swept up I became with it. I guess as a trainee journalist who it subject to the Internet and all the social media outlets under the sun, it was hard to get away from it all. Not one to feel left out, I picked up my friends and we headed to Hallas' mates house for a good BBQ. Kate Middleton looked absolutely amazing. I would go as far to say as it was fairytale. Probably not the kind of wedding she was thinking about since she was five but close enough.
The weekend followed by a visit by my 12 year old brother whose at that age where your not quite sure what to do to keep him entertained. In the end, I whittled it down to four options and couldn't decide between them so did all four. Pizza hut, bowling, cinema and Chinese. Needless to say he had a smile on his face the whole weekend so it obviously had the desired effect.
I also had a surprise up my sleeve for the croc last week and after giving him one to many clues- he guessed in the end. We went for a chocoholics evening at the Aston Villa ground which was amazing. Being a lover of chocolate and Villa, again needless to say HE had a big smile on his face for the rest of the week which was good!
Most surprisingly of all, with the whole week being food filled, I managed to lose a pound and a half at weight watchers. It must be down to all the running around I've been doing. Obviously, not sitting at a desk works wonders for me.
I get my exam results in less than two weeks now but I'm ploughing on with the journalism course and trying to get to grips with law and shorthand...help!
Lots more to come over the next few weeks, I don't actually know when my next free weekend is which is either worrying or quite satisfying. It's my birthday in 3 and a half weeks so I'm trying to organise something fun...ideas please! xx
Friday was obviously the big wedding and it was amazing. I was completely surprised by how swept up I became with it. I guess as a trainee journalist who it subject to the Internet and all the social media outlets under the sun, it was hard to get away from it all. Not one to feel left out, I picked up my friends and we headed to Hallas' mates house for a good BBQ. Kate Middleton looked absolutely amazing. I would go as far to say as it was fairytale. Probably not the kind of wedding she was thinking about since she was five but close enough.
The weekend followed by a visit by my 12 year old brother whose at that age where your not quite sure what to do to keep him entertained. In the end, I whittled it down to four options and couldn't decide between them so did all four. Pizza hut, bowling, cinema and Chinese. Needless to say he had a smile on his face the whole weekend so it obviously had the desired effect.
I also had a surprise up my sleeve for the croc last week and after giving him one to many clues- he guessed in the end. We went for a chocoholics evening at the Aston Villa ground which was amazing. Being a lover of chocolate and Villa, again needless to say HE had a big smile on his face for the rest of the week which was good!
Most surprisingly of all, with the whole week being food filled, I managed to lose a pound and a half at weight watchers. It must be down to all the running around I've been doing. Obviously, not sitting at a desk works wonders for me.
I get my exam results in less than two weeks now but I'm ploughing on with the journalism course and trying to get to grips with law and shorthand...help!
Lots more to come over the next few weeks, I don't actually know when my next free weekend is which is either worrying or quite satisfying. It's my birthday in 3 and a half weeks so I'm trying to organise something fun...ideas please! xx
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