The Break Up

30^th August was the last time I posted on this blog. Unbeknown to me, the morning I posted this I was a different person to the person I became on the evening of the 30^th August. Something happened that would change me completely. It’s now been a month and with courage and a little strength, I can say that I am now single.

I can safely say that the last month has been the worst of my life. I have experienced so many ups and downs. I have been smashed to smithereens but am slowly, very slowly, starting to piece myself back together.

To be honest, the split didn’t come as a massive surprise to me. I had known it was coming for some time. I just didn’t want to believe it. Without going into detail, there were no fights or fallings out. There is no one to blame for this apart from our ambitions and the fact that they were very different. We are at completely different stages of our life and it just didn’t seem to fit anymore. We ultimately want different things.

I still have great respect and love for him and a small piece of that will stay with me forever. He changed my life for the better and taught me lessons that I will take with me into future relationships and will use on a day to day basis.

What we had was a fairytale and a great relationship. I still have a fabulous story to tell my grandchildren about a very special person that I met in Australia and the many, many great and happy times we had together.

So with that cleared up, I want to start to move on. I have some scary and exciting plans ahead, my dreams that I want to achieve just for me. If anything, this has reminded me of the absolutely precious people I have in my life.

My family who have been inspirationally supportive and my friends who I cry with, laugh with and tell me straight about my thoughts. I have to give a special mention to Sarah Hallas who has been the best friend anyone could ask for. She has sat with me hour upon hour while I talk and cry and who has the balls to say to me “My god, stop being so melodramatic!”

She has doled out self help books, self help CD’s, made dinner for me, bought wine for me and hugged me when I needed it. Love you millions Miss Hallas! I haven’t forgotten about you others aswell, Fowler and my mum- who also gave me cuttings out of newspapers and bought me books and listened for hours while I wailed down the phone.

But this is a very personal journey. Something only I can experience because I, along with Dan, was the only other person in that relationship and knew our relationship inside and out.

With time, I will change and grow as a person and with my own ambitions; I will eventually earn the life that I want for myself, without compromise.

More of my new life soon J x

Things I love! (and don't love!)

Things I love most in the world (in no particular order)

The sunshine
The smell of sun cream
My family
My yummy boyfriend
Sitting in a beer garden with the girls on a sunny day
Watching home made videos from Australia with the girls
Finding an amazingly flattering dress that doesn't cost the earth
Black tower rose
Chinese food on a Friday night
Being in love
Reading Red Magazine (It's my new favourite)
Bank Holiday Weekends
The feel of sand between your toes
An amazingly bright coloured nail polish
My new duvet!
My new purple kettle and toaster!
Having a really hot shower when the weather is cold outside
Chunky knit jumpers and cardies in the Autumn
Mum's cheese straws and vieneese whirls

Things I don't love

Rain
Having no plans at the weekend
Traffic Jams
Prawns
Horror films
9am on a Monday morning
Getting a gorgeous new outfit home only to realise it's stained or ripped
Sitting exams at a cost of £41 each!
Tomatoes
My car breaking down

Update!

It's been so long so I updated the blog- been so busy!

So Dan is back in the country! He's been back just over a week and he is tanned and tired! He's already back at work which he hates but it is lovely to have him back again!

We went to the newly renovated Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford on Friday night for my birthday present. We went to see my favourite play, A Midsummer Night's Dream which was AMAZING. Dan wriggled and looked at his watch about a million times throughout the performance as he hates Shakespeare (how he can is beyond me!) But it was a very modern adaptation of the play with a lot of lines added in but the gist was the same. It was brilliant. The thing that wasn't brilliant is that I've just bought these patent black stilleto's which are so high I nearly fell over in the shop when I bought them. But I went against my better judgement and bought them anyway.
I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to test run them outside for the first time. I had been practising all week around the (carpeted) flat, walking up and down the hallway and even doing the washing up in them trying to break them in.
It worked to start with. Seeing as I was going to be sitting down all night, I thought no problem. I was wrong. We parked on the other side of the river as it's the only car park I know and we were running late. So there was some brisk walking and it was more than 5 mins away. By the time we ended up in the chinese 3 hours later (Dan was NOT amused), I was barefoot with bleeding feet. Not cool.

On the flip side, I did have a brand new blazer jacket which looked amazing with skinny jeans and barefeet!

In other news, my sister was in a car accident when a motorbike went into the back of their van...quite literally. Painkillers and an early night to quell the pain? No, they went to buy a puppy instead! His name is Marley and he is a cocker spaniel- 10 weeks old and quite possibly the cutest thing I think I've ever seen. We are desperate to start taking him out for a walk.

As I live and work in Birmingham, we are right in the thick of all the riots going in at the moment. It's horrendous that these things actually go on in our country. Personally I blame the unemployment situation and this mob mentality. If these people had normal full time jobs, I doubt this would be happening...or as badly anyway. In Birmingham, we're just keeping our heads down and getting on with our jobs. I'm meant to be visiting Fowler in Manchester this weekend but I think we'll be steering clear of the town centre after dark.

In more positive news, I've just booked a flight to Murcia in Spain with my flatmate Soph and a few other girls which I'm really looking forward to. Got an absolute bargain aswell, £100 return flight and £30 accommodation for 3 nights and 4 days in a townhouse with our own personal chef!! We fly in September so I've got a bit of a wait but I'm very excited.

I've got a week off work next week which I can't wait for. I haven't had time off since the middle of June so this is much needed. I'm not going away for this break but Dan will be getting his A level results on Thursday which will determine if he gets into Leeds uni or not. Fingers crossed!

So that's you all up to date...I'm off to Dans, he's cooked a lamb dinner for me :-) x x x

He's almost back!

Here was me saying I would be posting a lot more in July with Dan being away and everything but I've probably posted less! I've been keeping myself so busy since he's been gone to prevent myself from missing him. On Sunday, I had a spare day just to do some shopping and washing etc- I had five minutes when I sat down and started watching a film and I have to say to myself, 'Get up and do something!' So I went for an hour power walk. Unexpected but the weather was lovely and my weight watchers leader will love it!

So this week, me and Soph went to a market research discussion group to talk about a well known local radio station and their advertising plans. We were there for an hour and a half to give our opinions and bagged ourselves £45! We ended up in Revolutions on Broad Street necking a jug of cocktail with her two guy mates.

Friday we had a sales day at work and I cleaned up. I'd pre sold a lot of digital products to our customers and won a TV, a sat nav, a £50 chrome toaster and a Wii!! Not to mention wine, chocolate, sherry, and £55 in Tesco vouchers!! I've sold the majority of things I won to put in my 'I-want-to-buy-something-shiny from-Tiffiny's-in-New-York' fund. It's got to be done!

So Dan is back is...wait for it...tomorrow! It's absolutely flown by. I can't wait to see him- I've almost forgotten what he looks like! He's back this Sunday but can't wait. Can't believe I've gone 30 days without him already! Like I said, we have some really nice stuff planned for when he's back so I'm looking forward to it very much.

To top things off, Sarah is back in the country in the next 2 days from Oz (and she's got Tim Tams!!!) and little fluff (my sister) is back from Turkey! Everyone's coming back- I'm not longer a loner!!!!

It's almost time!

So Dan is coming back to the UK next Sunday! I have to admit, the last few weeks have flown by. It feels like a long time since I've seen him but it doesn't seem like it's been a month. (Confusing? I thought so) Today has been three weeks since I've seen him and it will be four and half weeks  when he comes back.

My weekends have been jam packed- I've literally not had 5 minutes to myself to think about missing him.

The first weekend I had a bit of pampering time and it was the Kenilworth Carnival which is always fun. The Sunday was a a cinema trip with Fowler and got a phone call in the middle of the film to say he had arrived in Bangkok.

The second weekend, Mum had her racing experience! That was amazing- mum showed off her driving skills in a posh lamborgini and ferarri! Then the Sunday, I had dinner with Dan's mum and sister and stayed over which was lovely.

Third weekend, I had a crazy night out with Fowler on Broad Street in Birmingham! It's been so long since we've been out on Broad Street and we're now usually the old' un's in a sea of what only look like 12 year olds. To think I used to be one of them...sigh. But we were surprised when we went into Walkabout (yes, you heard right) and there were some actually rather attractive men in there! My job for the night was spotter for Fowler who was scouring the place for potential boyfriend material. Cracking night apart from when I got ripped off by the taxi driver for a ride home...£25 for a 10 minute journey!

So this weekend, I'm off back to Leam to do some visiting which will be nice- then Dan is back the following weekend! We've got some really cool stuff planned when he's back. I've got my birthday present which is a theatre trip to see a Midsummer Night's Dream and we've got three, yes, three wedding receptions to go to. (Think back to the Hen Party weekend!) Then we will be booking our flights to New York!!

Exciting stuff! More to come soon x x

11 days to go!!

So Dan is coming back to the UK next Sunday! I have to admit, the last few weeks have flown by. It feels like a long time since I've seen him but it doesn't seem like it's been a month. (Confusing? I thought so) Today has been three weeks since I've seen him and it will be four and half weeks when he comes back.

My weekends have been jam packed- I've literally not had 5 minutes to myself to think about missing him.

The first weekend I had a bit of pampering time and it was the Kenilworth Carnival which is always fun. The Sunday was a a cinema trip with Fowler and got a phone call in the middle of the film to say he had arrived in Bangkok.

The second weekend, Mum had her racing experience! That was amazing- mum showed off her driving skills in a posh lamborgini and ferarri! Then the Sunday, I had dinner with Dan's mum and sister and stayed over which was lovely.

Third weekend, I had a crazy night out with Fowler on Broad Street in Birmingham! It's been so long since we've been out on Broad Street and we're now usually the old' un's in a sea of what only look like 12 year olds. To think I used to be one of them...sigh. But we were surprised when we went into Walkabout (yes, you heard right) and there were some actually rather attractive men in there! My job for the night was spotter for Fowler who was scouring the place for potential boyfriend material. Cracking night apart from when I got ripped off by the taxi driver for a ride home...£25 for a 10 minute journey!

So this weekend, I'm off back to Leam to do some visiting which will be nice- then Dan is back the following weekend! We've got some really cool stuff planned when he's back. I've got my birthday present which is a theatre trip to see a Midsummer Night's Dream and we've got three, yes, three wedding receptions to go to. (Think back to the Hen Party weekend!) Then we will be booking our flights to New York!!

Exciting stuff! More to come soon x x

I'm starting to get a complex!

I'm starting to get a complex. It hit me today that not only has Dan left the country for a month but suspiciously a few others have as well. Let's examine the evidence...

Dan- Thailand for a month
Sarah (Hallas)- Australia for a month
Rach (one of my bezzies) Down south somewhere for a week
Soph (the flatmate) Down to Newquay for a week
Rachael (My sister) 2 weeks in Turkey from next week
My mum etc- Away for a week at the end of the month.

I'm not being funny but isn't this all sounding a bit strange?? It could just be a massive coincidence that it's July and everyone has their summer holidays in July but still. The month I need everyone to keep me busy with Dan being away and they all bugger off! My only saving grace is that my good friend Katie Fowler is still in the country and hasn't deserted me like the rest of them! We had lunch and went to the cinema on Saturday and were catching up next weekend for my birthday present. I still have no clues on what it is. To be honest, I don't think Fowler has. Hallas seems to have left for Australia without so much of a word to Fowler about what we're doing on that day! That's my lovely Hallas for you!

More to come soon! xx