30th August was the last time I posted on this blog. Unbeknown to me, the morning I posted this I was a different person to the person I became on the evening of the 30th August. Something happened that would change me completely. It’s now been a month and with courage and a little strength, I can say that I am now single.
I can safely say that the last month has been the worst of my life. I have experienced so many ups and downs. I have been smashed to smithereens but am slowly, very slowly, starting to piece myself back together.
To be honest, the split didn’t come as a massive surprise to me. I had known it was coming for some time. I just didn’t want to believe it. Without going into detail, there were no fights or fallings out. There is no one to blame for this apart from our ambitions and the fact that they were very different. We are at completely different stages of our life and it just didn’t seem to fit anymore. We ultimately want different things.
I still have great respect and love for him and a small piece of that will stay with me forever. He changed my life for the better and taught me lessons that I will take with me into future relationships and will use on a day to day basis.
What we had was a fairytale and a great relationship. I still have a fabulous story to tell my grandchildren about a very special person that I met in Australia
So with that cleared up, I want to start to move on. I have some scary and exciting plans ahead, my dreams that I want to achieve just for me. If anything, this has reminded me of the absolutely precious people I have in my life.
My family who have been inspirationally supportive and my friends who I cry with, laugh with and tell me straight about my thoughts. I have to give a special mention to Sarah Hallas who has been the best friend anyone could ask for. She has sat with me hour upon hour while I talk and cry and who has the balls to say to me “My god, stop being so melodramatic!”
She has doled out self help books, self help CD’s, made dinner for me, bought wine for me and hugged me when I needed it. Love you millions Miss Hallas! I haven’t forgotten about you others aswell, Fowler and my mum- who also gave me cuttings out of newspapers and bought me books and listened for hours while I wailed down the phone.
But this is a very personal journey. Something only I can experience because I, along with Dan, was the only other person in that relationship and knew our relationship inside and out.
With time, I will change and grow as a person and with my own ambitions; I will eventually earn the life that I want for myself, without compromise.
More of my new life soon J x
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