Paaaiiin!

I'm in pain! Lots of pain. I had my wisdom tooth out on Saturday morning and I'm still not back at work. I thought I was doing really well, I did everything the dentist told me to and I felt ok on Saturday and Sunday. It was Monday evening that the pain started and I mean the most intense pain EVER! Me and Dan ventured to the cinema but I spent the entire time with the drink pressed to my cheek to dull the pain.
At 5am in the night, I woke up nearly in tears and had to wake Dan. He was so good, he went down to get me an ice pack but returned with a tray full of things to make me feel better. A massive glass of cold water, ice pack, co- codamol and some ice cream! He stayed up with me until the tablets had taken effect and knocked me out...it must be love!

Turns out when I called the dentist the next day and they got me in for an emergency appointment, the wound in my mouth was massively infected. The stitched were removed and they when they put some antiseptic wash into the socket, I almost cried in pain :-( I'm on antibiotics too.

This morning, I've woken up to no pain but a horrible taste of antiseptic. I'm hoping the antibiotics have started to kick in- I'm so glad I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to eat some nice food and kiss my boyfriend!! Neither of them I can do at the moment!! I am back at work tomorrow then I have a days holiday on Friday.

This weekend I'm supposed to be off to Manchester to celebrate Fowler's birthday with her but as I'm still not feeling well, I may not be able to make it :-( Have to play that be ear.

In other news, I have my exams coming up in the next 3 weeks and have been working hard on trying to get my head around Adobe InDesign CS5. If anybody knows how this software works, please enlighten me! I have to do this coursework to hand in with my exam in 3 weeks!!! Nightmare.

That's all from me! xx

Happyness

I love that film, The Pursuit of Happyness. There's something about it that makes me want to cry and makes me really angry that no- one gives the guy a break. The film shows the story of an ordinary guy trying to find his happiness, whether that be from his son, a place to live or a job. The film explains that the Declaration of Independence states that:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"
 
The film makes me realise that through our life we always pursue happiness and always strive for it as opposed to having it in our lap from day one. In our lives we discover those things that make us happy and hold onto those things for dear live. I guess it could be anything. It could be people, family, friends, a partner. It could be a new car, a amazing job, marriage, kids and so on.
 
I guess I'm halfway there, but the funny thing is there is no rush to find them. I'm happy to want for things that I really want. I'm working hard to qualify and hopefully find that amazing job. I'm working hard because in turn, I'll have a gorgeous house that I own and one day I'm hoping that I will get married and have kids...but I'm in no rush for them yet.
 
I'm happy at the moment for many reasons. I have a great family first of all. They drive me insane sometimes, they make me laugh, make me cry but whatever situation whenever in my life I know I can turn to them. Whether that be my mum (who is the first person I go to usually), my brother when I need some help, or my sister if I need to talk girl things. My younger brother is in the stage where he just grunts at you over the phone (he's almost 13) but I know when I see him in person- he'll flash his gorgeous little smile and give me a cuddle and everything feels good!
Next, I have a lovely boyfriend who I have SO much fun with. He's there for me in different ways. Little things that trouble me that I don't want to bother anyone else with, I know he'll listen to me rant. He's the person I tell all my secrets to and know that he will never tell. If I'm upset, worried or nervous, he just holds my hand and it's nice. I look forward to seeing him all the time.
Next, I have my amazing friends. Sarah Hallas, Katie Fowler, Rach Moore and my flatmate Soph. They all have something different about them that I feel I can speak to them about. If I need a cracking night out and want to forget about everything, I'll go to Hallas. If I need a cup of tea and a chat, I'll go to Fowler. If I need someone beating up or shouting at for me, I'll go to Rach (kidding, although she is a bit gobby!! She won't mind me saying that!) And my flatmate Soph sees everything! She's been a massive help to me the last week or so and I've been so grateful to her for helping me out.
 
So other things on the list that make me happy- My new car (I'm in love with it!), my flat, the fact that my dad's just moved down to Exmouth to run a pub and he's SO happy- I'm going to visit at the end of the month! and the fact that I might be an auntie soon!!! (more to come on that in a few weeks time.)
 
One thing I'm not so happy about is that I've had a wisdom tooth out this morning and I'm in pain. :-( But I'm staying at home in Leamington so Mum's looking after me :-)
 
More to come soon. Keep happy :-) xx

A tough week

Things have been hard this week. I've been cycling to work most days as yes, I'm still car-less. But there is good news on the horizon, I could have a car in 4 days time! It's lovely but it's going to leave me well and truly penniless. It will be luxury, for the first time ever I'll have power steering! Good times! Pics coming soon :-)

Things have been hard in other ways this week but let me just say that I love the croc very much, he makes me so incredibly happy. Whatever it takes baby.

So that's all that's been happening this week. More very soon, with pics of the new car! xx

Lunch with my bezzie!

One of my bezzies, Katie Fowler came over for a visit today seeing as I have no car to even comtemplate having a social life at the moment. As Dan is off working down in Luton tonight working, I would have been stuck alone bored out of my head but Miss Fowler came to the rescue!

Fowler lives in Manchester since leaving Brum a little while ago and it's been tough trying to find 5 minutes to get together. We worked out today that we haven't seen each other since the end of January along with not seeing my other bezzie, Sarah Hallas since then either! Not good news so we had lots to catch up on today.

We ended up having a large lunch in the Harvester followed by a trip to Spar to pick up some cookies to have with a cup of tea back at the flat accompanied by lots of chat! Good times- thanks for coming roomie!

I'm still without a car :-( It's been a week today and it's doing my head in! I'm attempting to get to Leamington tomorrow to strip out Pedro of my CD's and all and stay over at mum's for my dentist appointment on Monday. I've just been told however that there are rail strikes on tomorrow and we should 'not travel unless absolutely necessary'. Typical. I could take the bike- might take me a week but I'd have thighs of steel!

I'm off to eat an egg custard and watch sex and the city 2 :-) good times- thanks again roomie, you truly comforted a friend in need- love you lots! xxx

ps- a lil pic below of me and fowler enjoying one of many good times! "What's that in your mouth Fowler?!"

An Amuse Bouche and no more Pedro!

My beloved car, Pedro has gone to Peugeot heaven :-( I adore my car. I got him about two years ago when I rescued him from the scrap heap. A little bit of TLC and he was as good as gold- apart from the odd repair job here and there, he has run perfectly. For an old knacker aged 18 years old, he has taken me far and wide- from trips to Manchester- Liverpool- Birmingham to Leamington every day- he has done some miles.

I noticed him flagging a bit last week when he struggled to start and the amount of smoke that was billowing out of the exhaust. Coincidentally- I happened to be on the way to my brothers garage in Warwick when he gave up the ghost and chugged and puffed his way to his last breath. Looking at the amount of smoke, my brother (being a highly skilled mechanic) knew exactly what was wrong- the head gasket had blown :-( It is a fortune apparently to fix so I said goodbye and left Pedro at the garage. It looks like he won't be able to fix him so I'm now looking for a new car. I won't know for definite until tonight but it doesn't look good. I'm going on Saturday to clear him out and say my proper goodbyes. It's always weird when it's your first car, or so I've been told but I am excited about the prospect of a new (second- hand) car :-)

On Saturday evening- a did a restaurant review with my mum for the magazine I write for. I won't name the restaurant but mum left a little more tiddly than when she arrived and more hysterical for a number of reasons. Free champers for a start set her off- she's not a big drinker anyway and usually the smell of wine gets her going but a few glasses spelt trouble. The waiter brought us an amuse bouche which is a fancy way of saying 'appetiser' but after a few glasses mum was asking for a bichon frise (a breed of dog) which she confused with the word amuse bouche which set her off. Then she wrapped up her liver and put it in my handbag to take home for the dog. Not to mention stirring her cocktail with a fork and chewing plastic diamante's on the top of her dessert- going " OMG they are real diamonds" Never again- was a laugh though.

Was Dave's funeral today and was actually really nice- upsetting but nice. I'm glad I went in the end x

Still in shock but starting to come to terms

The evening I found out about Dave, I text all my family to tell them that I love them and that I love our little family. As mentioned in the previous blog, I'm taking a new pro- active view to life as my tribute to Dave and I wanted to contact them to remind them that I love them. With every response I got back I cried a little bit more. It made me wonder that at the point when Dave passed if he told his wife that he loved her or vice versa. Or when in fact the last time they told each other. Was it the day before, the week before or longer? When was the last time, that Dave held his wife's hand? What gets me is that he would have been planning to go on holiday or visit his daughter or go to the dentist fully expecting to keep those appointments or visits when all of a sudden, he can't.

When people pass, others sometimes say, 'well, it was their time to go.' I have to say that because of recent events I can't see this to be true. How can it be there time to go when they have so much left to do with their lives? How they can be ripped so suddenly from their families? With old age or a long illness, I can kind of see why but in this case, it's something that I can't make sense of.

It's weird to me why this has affected me so much. I have lost three relatives in the past 3-6 years and each was really really hard to come to terms with. They were the glue that held our family together. It didn't feel like proper family gatherings without them, like someone was missing. But I accepted it, not quickly, but I did probably because they had each lived a full and happy life. Gramps was nearly 101 when he passed!

But Dave's passing has affected me more than I thought. As mentioned in the last post, he wasn't a particularly friendly man and work sometimes infuriated him but he was a person, a human being who had a family who loved him. I do not believe it was his time to go and as silly as it sounds, I miss seeing him in the office. I miss hearing him bang the desk when he lost his temper- it used to make us all laugh- bless him.

So true to my word, I am trying to move on and live for the moment. I'm still angry at the fact that I have to work 8 hours of my day sat in front of a computer when I could be visiting. Thank god for mobile phones and 21st century technology. Without the odd text, photo message or video call on Skype, it would make things 100 times worse.

This is how my weekend is panning out so far-

Friday evening- dinner in with Dan- lots cheaper than eating out and we get to be alone
Saturday- Visit Sarah and Jess- two old friends I used to work with who have since had babies- in proper need of a catch up
Visit Rach and my goddaughter Eva- been trying to do this every week since I moved to Birmingham- it's massively important to me to be a good friend and for Eva to know who I am as she grows up.
Sleepover at my mum's house! Dinner out with mum and cuddles from my 12 year old brother (if he lets me!) and with the dog!
Sunday- Cup of hot chocolate in town with my sister :-) Will try and squeeze in a catch up with my older brother too.
Dinner with Dan

With Dan now working Saturday nights in his new job, it's gives me the opportunity to do my own thing with the girls and see my family. Also, boring things like washing and cleaning. All the things he doesn't want to be around for!

Also, instead of sitting in front of the TV last night, me and my flatmate Soph went out for a 45 minute power walk. It was good as we burned calories whilst chatting and catching up- probably something we wouldn't have done watching TV. And in the last post I mentioned if I wanted to eat something, I would just eat it instead of obsessing over it so with that in mind I've come up with a plan. If I've lost weight at WW, I will treat myself to something naughty. Something like fish and chips or a maccy d's!

Comments always welcome as usual :-) love love love